In the middle. there written : 101 reasons to school them in English. i will copy some mistakes made by us, and some are hilarious.
1. In a hotel, a girl calls out to her friends: "Come let all jump into the poo!" (pool) [omg.... u want to swim in shit? lol]
2. A reporter, when asking a new band if they are playing music full time, gets this answer: "No, we are a free lunch." (freelance) [then we'll get someone to eat u.]
3. One student is heard telling the other at a formal function: "Wah, today you look very extinguished. (distinguished) [is he/she a fire or anything?]
4. An essay by a college student... "He was arrested for parking tickets and other MISTER MEANERS." (misdemeanours)
5. "Wait later I call you on my CELLULITE phone." (cellular phone)
6. Essay : "...... I am DUMBFOLDED." (dumbfounded)
7. Essay: "He suffer from low SELF OF STEAM" (self esteem)
8. Notice: "No smoking ALOUD." (allowed)
9. Essay: "I pass all my testes. My grades should be hirer." [omg hu did u give ur balls to?]
10. At a cybercafe during a typical Counter Strike session: "I kill you till you DIE!" [immortals appeared?]
11. Due to the poor standard of English, an employer sends out an email to an interviewee saying: "Sorry you are not the right candidate for the job. We need someone who can write and speak well in English." The reply the employer got: "So when can I start?" [lol tak faham bahasa betul.]
Sir once told us lingerie is supposed to pronounce as lon-je-ree rite? MC students?
12. Overheard at a department store: "I am so shy to go to the LIN-JE-REE (lingerie) section..."
13. Overheard at a coffeeshop: "No, I don't want iced lemon tea. I want teh-o-ais-limau!" [haha it's the same thing. maybe semangat bahasa.]
14. From an essay by a 15-year-old who was asked if he would dress like a girl: "Never. Even if all the girls in the world EXTINCTED." [walau.... this guy really wanna get whacked by girls.]
15. An article by a jounalism student in a local university: "The man died after the post- mortem." [the man died twice?]
16. From an assignment submitted by a university student: "Women can use the DIAGRAM to prevent from getting pregnant." [wah, text books have a lot of diagrams inside! so girls, please stock it. can prevent pregnancy. =P] (diaphragm)
17. At a job interview:
Question: You have a long name. How do i address you?
Answer: I live in Gombak Setia, sir.
18. A student narrating a movie she saw to a friendd: "He save her life and gave her mouth to mouth RESURRECTION. (resuscitate) [wow.... i don noe CPR is so godlike!]
19. Beauty contestant is asked:
Question: How long does it take to come here from your house?
Answer: About 60 km.
20. On a trip abroad, a reporter wakes up just after dawn, looks out the window and exclaims:
"Wah cantiknya sunset!" [sunrise... dawn is not dusk. but i used to think dawn is dusk though]
21. From a young public relations executive: "Please come to the album LUNCH (launch) next week."
22. From a local entertainer during a concert: "Are you enjoys?" (Are you enjoying yourself?)
23. Spelling mistakes in menu(s) at local food outlets:
"suit and sawa chicken" (sweet and sour chicken)
"Stake" (steak) [i don eat sharp objects or gambling stuffs]
24. A part time worker at a concert hall needs to stamp the wrists of patrons going out for a break. She says: "Excuse me sir, can i chop your hand?" [don chop my hand! i love my fingers!]
25. Another application letter reads: "For your information, I am very good command in English language and quite creative. I hope for you can approval of my application." [for your information, i noe your English is very good and creative.]
26. From a human resource officer: "The company would begin its staff termination scheme on any employee who has unstable health conditions." [sir, i m not feeling well today. can u terminate me now?]
27. From a secondary student: "He told me he hit his head on his forehead." [how is dat possible? unless you have a clone. =P]
28. At a job interview: "Oh, my speaking English is good too." [yeah i noe, i noe.]
30. Overheard at a stall in town: Do you speak the ENGLANDS?
31. From a journalist to a singer: "You have a good voice. Are you a SO-PAR-NO?" (soprano)
32. A young patient to his doctor: "I have an allergy to ashma."
33. During a war scene in a movie, a soldier tells his men to run for cover and screams "duck!". The subtitles read: "ITIK!" [y not "quack quack"?]
34. A student to his friend: "You should go see the doctor for checking up youself." [for wat i go to see the doctor when i can do check up for myself?]
35. From an interview between an international movie star and local celebrity:
Movie star: I am mixed.
Local celebrity: With what?
[fuuhh... 马来西亚的脸丢尽了……]
36. A very famous local singer was asked by a stewardess, "How would you like your coffee?" The singer, very earnestly replied: "In a cup please." [better if she says: In my mouth please. she gonna drink it anyways. =P]
THIS IS THE BEST!!!!
Interview between an airline company and flight attendant wannabe.
Question: What do you know about flight safety procedures?
Answer: Passengers must leave their belongings during EJACULATION. (evacuation).
[i m leaving my belongings now. LOL!!!!! XDXDXD]
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Random quote: "At least we are better than Myanmar!"
p.s.: my English is not excellent. text and corrections is done by Malaysian Today.
